Parenting Struggles
When I parented my first-born, I didn’t know about the power of parent sharing. Instead, I often struggled on my own. This created a growing frustration with not always knowing what to do when, as a toddler, she misbehaved.
One time, I asked my mother for help. Her reply, “Oh, I never had that problem. You were so good.” Obviously, my mother didn’t remember her “yardstick” parenting strategy. As a tiny tot when I disobeyed, she came after me – stick in hand. Though, more often than not, she used it to threaten me, not hit me. Even so, this was not a strategy I wanted to use with my children. Poor memory or not, my mother was no help.
Parenting Classes
One day, I mentioned my frustration to my health care provider. She suggested I enroll in a parenting class provided by our health maintenance/insurance organization.
Who me?! A parenting class?!
With an air of superiority, I thought, “Who me? A parenting class? Weren’t they for parents involved with child protective services? Weren’t they for parents who abused their kids and had them taken away?” That wasn’t me! Plus, I was a college graduate! I had a degree! I shouldn’t need parenting education! But, actually, I did.
So, begrudgingly, I attended the classes.
Yes, a Parenting Class
Taught by a nurse and a nurse practitioner from the HMO, the class introduced 15 parent participants (of which only one was a social service mandate) to the “Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP)” program. The course consisted of strategies found to be effective in raising socially and emotionally healthy children.
Parent Sharing, the Best Parenting Education
What I particularly liked in the classes was “parent sharing.” This happened when one parent asked about how to deal with an issue, and another would say something like, “Oh, that? I don’t have an issue with that because this is what I have done when that happens….” I learned some of the best parenting “strategies” from parent sharing.
Over time, I came to embrace the class – strategies, parent sharing, and all. The program provided me with information to direct my child’s behavior with less stress and more consistent love and understanding. I prospered. And, excited about the things I learned, I wanted to spread the word. I set out to share them with others. This ignited my journey as a mental health and parenting educator.
Other Parenting Programs
Conflict Resolution
Soon after I completed the STEP program, a course on conflict resolution came to town. Conflict resolution or conflict management interested me. Even though I had been having a challenging time with my toddler, my husband and I had some communication challenges too. Again, the classes delivered. They provided me with an arsenal of additional skills and strategies to implement whenever I needed them.
EPIC
Then, after this, I became a trainer of the EPIC parenting education program. EPIC stands for “Every Person Influences Children” developed by Bob Wilson from Buffalo, NY. Frustrated by the high rate of local unintended teen pregnancies, a concerned parent in our town wanted to do something about the problem. Her pregnancy prevention strategy included providing parents of teens in the community with a parenting program. Along with some other moms, I traveled to Buffalo and received the EPIC training. We then came back home and started facilitating parent groups.
A Combination of Courses
After training the EPIC program for a while, I thought parents could benefit from combining it with both the STEP and conflict resolution classes. Taking a little bit from EPIC and STEP and most of the information from the conflict management course, I developed a new parenting education program.
I then taught the course at the NY State Education Dept. Board of Cooperative Education Services (BOCES) Adult Education Program in Syracuse, NY. I enjoyed teaching the new curriculum. But, again, more importantly, what was best was the parent sharing.
Parent-to-Parent – Head of the Class
As a facilitator of the classes, I both supported and reveled in the participants’ sharing of their parenting ideas, tips, and strategies. A parent may have had an issue in one area but in others they provided well tested ideas or techniques for someone else. This became a constant and welcome cycle within our learning community.
Through my years as an educator, my colleagues and I always agreed that one of the most important teaching strategies is facilitating the sharing of ideas from one student or participant to another. This is particularly true when parents share parenting strategies with each other.
What about you?
Have you particpated in parenting education? If you did, was it in-person or virtual? Did you like it? Why or why not? Do you have a child rearing tip or strategy that works/worked well for you that you’d like to share?Tell us about it in the Comments.
Looking for resources?
Check out the National Parenting Education Network (NPEN), a national organization that promotes the field of parenting education and encourages information sharing, professional development and networking opportunities for individuals who educate and support parents.
