Tag: mental health education

Parent Sharing, the Best Parenting Education

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Parenting Struggles

When I parented my first-born, I didn’t know about the power of parent sharing. Instead, I often struggled on my own. This created a growing frustration with not always knowing what to do when, as a toddler, she misbehaved.

One time, I asked my mother for help. Her reply, “Oh, I never had that problem. You were so good.” Obviously, my mother didn’t remember her “yardstick” parenting strategy. As a tiny tot when I disobeyed, she came after me – stick in hand. Though, more often than not, she used it to threaten me, not hit me. Even so, this was not a strategy I wanted to use with my children. Poor memory or not, my mother was no help.

A humorous illustration of the "old woman and the shoe" depicting parenting a lot of children.

Parenting Classes

One day, I mentioned my frustration to my health care provider. She suggested I enroll in a parenting class provided by our health maintenance/insurance organization. 

Who me?! A parenting class?!

With an air of superiority, I thought, “Who me? A parenting class? Weren’t they for parents involved with child protective services? Weren’t they for parents who abused their kids and had them taken away?” That wasn’t me! Plus, I was a college graduate! I had a degree! I shouldn’t need parenting education! But, actually, I did.

Too good for class. From Phoebe and phearnik! Fight BIG Fear picture book

So, begrudgingly, I attended the classes.

Yes, a Parenting Class

Taught by a nurse and a nurse practitioner from the HMO, the class introduced 15 parent participants (of which only one was a social service mandate) to the “Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP)” program. The course consisted of strategies found to be effective in raising socially and emotionally healthy children. 

Parent Sharing, the Best Parenting Education

What I particularly liked in the classes was “parent sharing.” This happened when one parent asked about how to deal with an issue, and another would say something like, “Oh, that? I don’t have an issue with that because this is what I have done when that happens….”  I learned some of the best  parenting “strategies” from parent sharing. 

Over time, I came to embrace the class – strategies, parent sharing, and all. The program provided me with information to direct my child’s behavior with less stress and more consistent love and understanding. I prospered. And, excited about the things I learned, I wanted to spread the word. I set out to share them with others. This ignited my journey as a mental health and parenting educator.

A Free guide to parenting adolescents

Other Parenting Programs

Conflict Resolution

Soon after I completed the STEP program, a course on conflict resolution came to town. Conflict resolution  or conflict management interested me. Even though I had been having a challenging time with my toddler, my husband and I had some communication challenges too. Again, the classes delivered. They  provided me with an arsenal of additional skills and strategies to implement whenever I needed them.

EPIC

Then, after this, I became a trainer of the EPIC parenting education program.  EPIC stands for “Every Person Influences Children” developed by Bob Wilson from Buffalo, NY. Frustrated by the high rate of local unintended teen pregnancies, a  concerned parent in our town wanted to do something about the problem. Her pregnancy prevention strategy included providing parents of teens in the community with a parenting program. Along with some other moms, I traveled to Buffalo and received the EPIC training. We then came back home and started facilitating parent groups. 

A Combination of Courses

After training the EPIC program for a while, I thought parents could benefit from combining it with both the STEP and conflict resolution classes. Taking  a little bit from EPIC and STEP and most of the information from the conflict management course, I developed a new parenting education program. 

I then taught the course at the NY State Education Dept. Board of Cooperative Education Services (BOCES) Adult Education Program in Syracuse, NY. I enjoyed teaching the new curriculum. But, again, more importantly, what was best was the parent sharing.

Parent-to-Parent – Head of the Class

As a facilitator of the classes, I both supported and reveled in the participants’ sharing of their parenting ideas, tips, and strategies. A parent may have had an issue in one area but in others they provided well tested ideas or techniques for someone else. This became a constant and welcome cycle within our learning community.

Through my years as an educator, my colleagues and I always agreed that one of the most important teaching strategies is facilitating the sharing of ideas from one student or participant to another. This is particularly true when parents share parenting strategies with each other.

What about you? 

Have you particpated in parenting education? If you did, was it in-person or virtual?   Did you like it?  Why or why not?  Do you have a child rearing tip or strategy that works/worked well for you that you’d like to share?Tell us about it in the Comments.

Looking for resources?

Check out the National Parenting Education Network (NPEN), a national organization that promotes the field of parenting education and encourages information sharing, professional development and networking opportunities for individuals who educate and support parents.

Mental, Emotional, and Social Health with Toys? Yes, with MESH!

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MESH + Toy Industry + aws Studios

While perusing an issue of “The Toy Book,” a toy industry trade magazine, I came across a mention by Editor in Chief James Zahn in his editorial about “MESH,” a new acronym for “mental, emotional, and social health.” For me, this was a ‘needle in the haystack’ discovery. To find a link from the toy industry to me — a mental health educator, picture book author/illustrator, and toy designer — was a jump for joy moment.

Where did this MESH acronym come from?

I needed more info. After a little searching, I found a podcast about “MESH” by The Toy Coach, Azhelle Wade. In this podcast, Azhelle interviews Rachele Harmuth of ThinkFun and co-originator of the MESH acronym. In short, seeing how mental health issues were increasing worldwide in children and teens, Harmuth, with years of experience in the toy industry, wanted to know if there was a way to help families — kids and parents — build their resiliency to mental illness with play and toys.

Combining Mental Health Education and Social Emotional Learning (SEL)

Harmuth then partnered with resiliency expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa and the two came up with the MESH term combining both the fields of mental health and social emotional learning. Genius! And it’s about time. For the past few decades, the fields of mental health education and social emotional learning (SEL) operated separately and siloed. Harmuth and Gilboa have combined the two fields — the skills of mental health and the “Pillars” of SEL— into the following eight skills:

  • Problem solving
  • Perseverance
  • Adaptation
  • Conflict resolution
  • Self-regulation
  • Self-advocacy
  • Cognitive skills
  • Communication strategies

Then they identified four areas where toys and games can build these skills:

  • A focus on problem solving and perseverance
  • Encouraging storytelling
  • Presenting new or increasing challenges over the duration of play and
  • Drawing children and their adults together in play.

[Find out more here at MESHhelps.org]

What’s all this got to do with aws Studios?

I was initially perusing “The Toy Book” because I have been trying to learn more about the toy industry. And I was doing this because I created a toy, specifically a plush (a stuffed fabric toy), designed to help kids build their MESH skills. Currently, I am trying to license the toy to a licensing manufacturer, aka a licensee.

Mental, Emotional, and Social Health Skill Building Through Toys and Play

I am thrilled to see a connection between mental health skill building and the toy industry. Like what the industry has done by connecting toys and games to STEAM, the interdisciplinary approach to learning that combines science, technology, engineering, arts, and mathematics, the MESH movement is doing the same. It’s making connections to current toys and games on the market that build one or more of the mental, emotional, and social health identified skills.

There’s no better way to build mental, emotional, and social health — MESH — skills than through toys and play!

How have toys helped your kids build their mesh Skills? Tell us in Comments
check out my MESH skill building activites here

Parent Sharing and How to Get Your Toddler to Behave!

Published on by awsstudiosart4 Comments

I am writing about parenting because it’s my hope that parents will find my to-be-published book “Adventures with phearnik!™” useful. Find out more about the book here. 

This post is about how I first got into mental health education as a parenting educator.  I got into parenting education because I wanted/needed my toddler to behave! 

Parenting struggles and parenting classes

I loved/love parenting education.  I was introduced to it as a participant in a parenting class.  Like I said, I was having a tough time and getting frustrated with my toddler’s behavior.  And I was stymied.  I was a high school and college graduate and I still didn’t have the answers for what to do. 

I asked my mother for help and she said, “Oh, I never had that problem.  You were so good.” It was obvious to me my mother didn’t remember hitting me with the yardstick when I misbehaved as a toddler!  And because of that experience, I wasn’t going to resort to using it with my children.  My mother wasn’t going to be any help.

A humorous illustration of the "old woman and the shoe" depicting parenting a lot of children.

I mentioned my frustrations to my health care provider.  She suggested I enroll in our HMO’s parenting class.  I was hesitant.  Weren’t parenting classes for parents involved with child protective services? Parents who were abusing their kids and had them taken away?  That wasn’t me.  I was just getting a little frustrated.  I ended up going, albeit begrudgingly, and feeling embarrassed.  And once there, I was so glad I went!  I came to love the class.  (By the way, of about 15 participants in the class, only one parent was mandated to go.)

Taught by HMO staff, the class used the “Systematic Training for Effective Parenting” program (Dinkmeyer and McKay). These techniques were found effective in raising socially and emotionally healthy children.  I loved the strategies and learning to direct my child’s behavior with love and understanding and calmer.  I loved it so much that I just had to spread the word.  This is me.  I am an educator through and through.  When I learn or find out about something that I get excited about, I want to share it.  So, I set out to be a parenting educator.

More Useful Parenting Information

Soon after I completed the STEP classes, another opportunity arose. A short course on conflict resolution came to town.  I like the term “conflict management” better as conflict cannot always be resolved. Something we learned in the course.  I sought out conflict resolution (management). Even though I struggled with my toddler’s behavior at times, my husband and I engaged in some arguments too.  (Makes one wonder how much that was contributing to the toddler’s behavior, right?) Anyways, I went to the conflict classes and loved what I learned there too! 

Right after that, I signed up to become a trainer of the EPIC parenting education program.  EPIC stands for “Every Person Influences Children” developed by Bob Wilson from Buffalo, NY.  A keen, visionary mom in our town was frustrated by the high rate of unintended teen pregnancies.  She believed in addressing the problem. Her strategy included providing parents in the community with a parenting program. The mom thought it could be an effective preventative strategy to help bring the rate down.  Along with some other moms, I traveled to Buffalo and received the  training and became an EPIC trainer.  We then came back home and started training parent groups. 

I trained the EPIC program for a little while but I felt that it wasn’t enough.  It was my belief that the parenting classes could use some of what I learned in the STEP program. In addition, it definitely needed pretty much everything I learned in the conflict resolution classes!  So, I developed my own parenting education course. 

I took a little bit from EPIC and a little bit from STEP and used most of the information from the conflict resolution classes.   I started teaching my curriculum at the NY State Education Dept. Board of Cooperative Education Services (BOCES) Adult Education Program in Syracuse, NY.  And guess what?  Yep, you got it!  I loved teaching that parenting education curriculum!  I especially loved getting parents together.  Parents who like me had some struggle with parenting their children and were hungry for some help, some answers. 

Parent-to-Parent, the Best Parenting Education

We had so much fun in those classes!  It was great to be able to facilitate their sharing of issues but, most importantly, the ideas and strategies that worked for them.  They may have been having an issue in one area of parenting but in other areas, they had great ideas for the other parents.  This was one of the things that I particularly liked in the STEP classes, when a parent would say, “Oh, that?  I don’t have an issue with that because this is what I have done when that happens….”  The parent sharing was the best.  Through my years as an educator and trainer, my colleagues and I would always agree that one of our most important teaching strategies was to facilitate the sharing of ideas from the students or participants to one another.

Commenting on blogs is a terrific way for readers to share their stories and what’s worked for them when it comes to parenting children.  What about you?  Have you ever participated in a parenting class?   Which one?  Did you like it?  Why or why not?  Do you have a child rearing tip or strategy that works/worked well for you that you’d like to share?  I would love to hear about it in the Comments/Reply section below and, as always, thank you for reading! 

Looking for resources?  Check out the National Parenting Education Network (NPEN), a national organization that promotes the field of parenting education and encourages information sharing, professional development and networking opportunities for individuals who educate and support parents.

Another Why “There’s a Mental Health Crisis Among American Children”

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Something’s Missing

In the NY Times article, “There’s a Mental Health Crisis Among American Children.  Why?: And the pandemic is not the only reason,” I noticed a missing “why”, a big one.

Tingley lists many reasons why we have a mental health crisis in this country. These include issues with data collection, the ability for more children to receive adequate and early mental health care. She also points out how the pandemic has added to  the crisis. But, she adds “rising numbers” of children and youth with mental illness was happening before Covid19. Less than 15% of these youth received treatment. 

A Lack of Mental Health Education

A picture showing to little girls hugging to emphasize the need for more mental health education.

As a mental health educator, the “why” there’s a mental health crisis in the US that I see missing is the lack of mental health education.  The NYT article and others about the state of mental health in the US usually  emphasize the issue of accessing treatment as the number one reason.  But treatment for mental illnesses is a “downstream” strategy, a way to administer to those who are ill.  They are often emergency life-saving measures.  On the other hand, mental health education is an “upstream” strategy.  Its purpose to arm individuals with the things they need to know and do to maintain mental health and prevent mental illnesses and the need for treatment as much as possible. 

Making Mental Health Skill Building Fun and Easy

Because of the lack of mental health education, states like New York and California have made or are making it a law. These laws work to ensure mental health education happens in schools.  It’s too bad we need laws to make mental health education take place.  Teaching and learning the skills of mental health isn’t hard.  And it can be fun!  In my last post, I talked about learning the social and emotional skill of acknowledging fear. Embracing a “little fear” helps us move beyond anxiety to a place of thriving.  For all healthy skills, it helps to understand why we need the skill and why it works.  To learn the skill of acknowledging fear, it helps to understand how our brains work when we’re experiencing it. 

Fear is a powerful emotion.  In its basic form, it keeps us safe.  And in our early human development, tuning into fear was essential for survival.  The thing is, even now hundreds of thousands of years later, fear still wants to react in its primal way.  A lot of fear we experience isn’t a life-or-death. Because of this,  we need to embody the skill of calming our primal brain areas down and tune into the areas that provide a more modern, logical and practical  approach.

I like how Dr. Steve Peters explains this in a simplified and fun way. Helping to clarify the complexity of brain science, Peters breaks it down. He conveys how our “emotional thinking machine” “The Chimp” needs to placate “The Human,” the area of thinking and planning. Says Peters, “You are not responsible for the nature of the dog but you are responsible for managing it, keeping it well behaved.”  Just as “you are not responsible for the nature of your Chimp but you are responsible for managing it.” And that’s a mental health skill! 

So, yes, we may be in a mental health crisis. But we don’t need to wait for laws and our schools to put a dent in that crisis. Mental health education can be provided now.  As parents and adults, we can help build the skills of mental health in our children. And, more importantly, for ourselves – in fun and engaging ways.  That’s what my picture book, “Adventures with phearnik!™”  is all about.  It’s a fun way to learn how to keep your social relationships and emotions healthy! 

What about you?  Could you use a fun way to help your child not be so fearful or anxious?  Could you yourself use the same!?  “Adventures with phearnik!™” can help!