Who is Stella Al Fresco

I made a doll and it is not like Stella Al Fresco.

Sunday morning in the NYTimes, I saw an article about how Megan, The Dutchess of Sussex, promoted a doll on her new show “With Love, Megan.” Commonly known Stella Al Fresco, Megan’s daughter’s doll is sold with “a little baguette and a little cheese.” The dolls’ creators claim the dolls and their accessories help kids mimic adult behavior. Says Acorn Store owner Heather Hamilton where the dolls are sold, “Kids really like imitating life, and if this is what they’re seeing on their parents’ patio, then they just pretend play.”

A picture of the doll commonly called Stella Al Fresco. It helps to show the difference between it and the aws Studios.art phearnik! plush and how it is different , has a different purpose and is not like Stella Al Fresco. — The doll commonly known as Stella Al Fresco

A picture of the phearnik! plush, a small rag doll with a lavender body, a navy blue jumpsuit and a wild head of yarn for hair. It has big black eyes and a squiggly mouth. Funny, cute and a little bit scary. — The phearnik! plush

Which makes me think that my little phearnik!® has a long, uphill slog to the market. How does my slightly scary looking doll/plush that is not like Stella Al Fresco compete with the sweet, cute and Cabbage Patch-like doll? And how does my aws Studios.art doll stack up against a doll promoted by Megan?

phearnik!® is no Stella Al Fresco

phearnik!® is 180° from Stella. But that’s okay. phearnik!® is not meant to mimic adult/parent behavior. phearnik!® stands for something else.

A Little Scary Looking

Yes, phearnik!® is not a sweet looking doll like Stella. phearnik!® actually looks a little scary. It’s supposed to look scary. I made phearnik!® to look a little scary because the plush represents a “little fear.”

The idea behind the phearnik!® doll was to make an object that represents fear. I would take the “little fear” with me to remind me to keep my fears small. When I keep my fears small, they don’t get big and take control of things I want or need to do. More about where I got this idea here (hint: it’s from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic: Creative living beyond fear).

A picture of one of the original versions of the phearnik! plush prototype. A small rag doll with a lavender body, a navy-blue jumpsuit, googlie eyes, a crooked mouth and wild hair kids love. — One of the original versions of the phearnik! plush

Initially, I created phearnik!® to help me with my fear of the blank canvas. Then one day my granddaughter spied the doll on my dresser. She wanted one too. (How couldn’t she? With its quirky face and wild hair, I thought!)

A picture of the cover of the original book about phearnik! titled "Adventures with phearnik!." The book has been revised and is now "Phoebe and phearnik! Fight BIG Fears" — The original picture book about phearnik!. Now revised as “Phoebe and phearnik! Fight Big Fears”

While making my granddaughter a phearnik!®, I came up with the idea to tell her its story in a book. Hence, I created the picture book Adventures with phearnik!® and gave her both the book and plush as a birthday present.

A picture of a little girl holding her phearnik! The plush helps her overcome her fears so she can join in and have fun. — Guess who with her phearnik!

The phearnik!® Campaign

Since then, I wanted to share the book and the plush with others. phearnik!® definitely helped me. Every day it’s there to remind me not to be fearful of things that are new to me like a blank canvas. More importantly, it helps me with becoming an entrepreneur to promote the phearnik!® idea to others. I believe phearnik!® can help others who, like me, are held back by irrational and debilitating fears.

phearnik!® has helped me do everything I have needed to do to get to this point of launching the phearnik!® Campaign. The campaign seeks to raise funds to support mental health making the plush available to others, both kids and adults, dealing with irrational fears.

Yes, phearnik!® is no Stella Al Fresco but That’s Okay

A picture of the doll Stella Al Fresco holding a phearnik! plush symbolizing how the plush reminds kids to keep their fears small. — Stella and phearnik! as friends

phearnik!® is not like Stella Al Fresco. But I like to think that even Stella would like to have a phearnik!® It would remind her to keep her fears small so she can live a more fearless life. Ah, yes, what a vision. Instead of competing with each other, Stella and phearnik!® could be friends!

Do you agree? What do you think? Have you ever had a doll like Stella? Or phearnik!®? Tell us about it in the Comments.

Find out more about phearnik!® and get a free “How to Use phearnik!®” pdf here.

Support mental health and sign up for the phearnik!® Campaign

Coming soon: the many faces of phearnik!®

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Something’s Missing

Tingley lists many reasons why we have a mental health crisis in this country. These include issues with data collection, the ability for more children to receive adequate and early mental health care. She also points out how the pandemic has added to the crisis. But, she adds “rising numbers” of children and youth with mental illness was happening before Covid19. Less than 15% of these youth received treatment.

A Lack of Mental Health Education

A picture showing to little girls hugging to emphasize the need for more mental health education.

As a mental health educator, the “why” there’s a mental health crisis in the US that I see missing is the lack of mental health education. The NYT article and others about the state of mental health in the US usually emphasize the issue of accessing treatment as the number one reason. But treatment for mental illnesses is a “downstream” strategy, a way to administer to those who are ill. They are often emergency life-saving measures. On the other hand, mental health education is an “upstream” strategy. Its purpose to arm individuals with the things they need to know and do to maintain mental health and prevent mental illnesses and the need for treatment as much as possible.

Making Mental Health Skill Building Fun and Easy

Because of the lack of mental health education, states like New York and California have made or are making it a law. These laws work to ensure mental health education happens in schools. It’s too bad we need laws to make mental health education take place. Teaching and learning the skills of mental health isn’t hard. And it can be fun! In my last post, I talked about learning the social and emotional skill of acknowledging fear. Embracing a “little fear” helps us move beyond anxiety to a place of thriving. For all healthy skills, it helps to understand why we need the skill and why it works. To learn the skill of acknowledging fear, it helps to understand how our brains work when we’re experiencing it.

Fear is a powerful emotion. In its basic form, it keeps us safe. And in our early human development, tuning into fear was essential for survival. The thing is, even now hundreds of thousands of years later, fear still wants to react in its primal way. A lot of fear we experience isn’t a life-or-death. Because of this, we need to embody the skill of calming our primal brain areas down and tune into the areas that provide a more modern, logical and practical approach.

I like how Dr. Steve Peters explains this in a simplified and fun way. Helping to clarify the complexity of brain science, Peters breaks it down. He conveys how our “emotional thinking machine” “The Chimp” needs to placate “The Human,” the area of thinking and planning. Says Peters, “You are not responsible for the nature of the dog but you are responsible for managing it, keeping it well behaved.” Just as “you are not responsible for the nature of your Chimp but you are responsible for managing it.” And that’s a mental health skill!

So, yes, we may be in a mental health crisis. But we don’t need to wait for laws and our schools to put a dent in that crisis. Mental health education can be provided now. As parents and adults, we can help build the skills of mental health in our children. And, more importantly, for ourselves – in fun and engaging ways. That’s what my picture book, “Adventures with phearnik!™” is all about. It’s a fun way to learn how to keep your social relationships and emotions healthy!

What about you? Could you use a fun way to help your child not be so fearful or anxious? Could you yourself use the same!? “Adventures with phearnik!™” can help!