I am writing about parenting because it’s my hope that parents will find my to-be-published book “Adventures with phearnik!™” useful. Find out more about the book here.
This post is about how I first got into mental health education as a parenting educator. I got into parenting education because I wanted/needed my toddler to behave!
Parenting struggles and parenting classes
I loved/love parenting education. I was introduced to it as a participant in a parenting class. Like I said, I was having a tough time and getting frustrated with my toddler’s behavior. And I was stymied. I was a high school and college graduate and I still didn’t have the answers for what to do.
I asked my mother for help and she said, “Oh, I never had that problem. You were so good.” It was obvious to me my mother didn’t remember hitting me with the yardstick when I misbehaved as a toddler! And because of that experience, I wasn’t going to resort to using it with my children. My mother wasn’t going to be any help.
I mentioned my frustrations to my health care provider. She suggested I enroll in our HMO’s parenting class. I was hesitant. Weren’t parenting classes for parents involved with child protective services? Parents who were abusing their kids and had them taken away? That wasn’t me. I was just getting a little frustrated. I ended up going, albeit begrudgingly, and feeling embarrassed. And once there, I was so glad I went! I came to love the class. (By the way, of about 15 participants in the class, only one parent was mandated to go.)
Taught by HMO staff, the class used the “Systematic Training for Effective Parenting” program (Dinkmeyer and McKay). These techniques were found effective in raising socially and emotionally healthy children. I loved the strategies and learning to direct my child’s behavior with love and understanding and calmer. I loved it so much that I just had to spread the word. This is me. I am an educator through and through. When I learn or find out about something that I get excited about, I want to share it. So, I set out to be a parenting educator.
Soon after I completed the STEP classes, another opportunity arose. A short course on conflict resolution came to town. I like the term “conflict management” better as conflict cannot always be resolved. Something we learned in the course. I sought out conflict resolution (management). Even though I struggled with my toddler’s behavior at times, my husband and I engaged in some arguments too. (Makes one wonder how much that was contributing to the toddler’s behavior, right?) Anyways, I went to the conflict classes and loved what I learned there too!
Right after that, I signed up to become a trainer of the EPIC parenting education program. EPIC stands for “Every Person Influences Children” developed by Bob Wilson from Buffalo, NY. A keen, visionary mom in our town was frustrated by the high rate of unintended teen pregnancies. She believed in addressing the problem. Her strategy included providing parents in the community with a parenting program. The mom thought it could be an effective preventative strategy to help bring the rate down. Along with some other moms, I traveled to Buffalo and received the training and became an EPIC trainer. We then came back home and started training parent groups.
I trained the EPIC program for a little while but I felt that it wasn’t enough. It was my belief that the parenting classes could use some of what I learned in the STEP program. In addition, it definitely needed pretty much everything I learned in the conflict resolution classes! So, I developed my own parenting education course.
I took a little bit from EPIC and a little bit from STEP and used most of the information from the conflict resolution classes. I started teaching my curriculum at the NY State Education Dept. Board of Cooperative Education Services (BOCES) Adult Education Program in Syracuse, NY. And guess what? Yep, you got it! I loved teaching that parenting education curriculum! I especially loved getting parents together. Parents who like me had some struggle with parenting their children and were hungry for some help, some answers.
Parent-to-Parent, the Best Parenting Education
We had so much fun in those classes! It was great to be able to facilitate their sharing of issues but, most importantly, the ideas and strategies that worked for them. They may have been having an issue in one area of parenting but in other areas, they had great ideas for the other parents. This was one of the things that I particularly liked in the STEP classes, when a parent would say, “Oh, that? I don’t have an issue with that because this is what I have done when that happens….” The parent sharing was the best. Through my years as an educator and trainer, my colleagues and I would always agree that one of our most important teaching strategies was to facilitate the sharing of ideas from the students or participants to one another.
Commenting on blogs is a terrific way for readers to share their stories and what’s worked for them when it comes to parenting children. What about you? Have you ever participated in a parenting class? Which one? Did you like it? Why or why not? Do you have a child rearing tip or strategy that works/worked well for you that you’d like to share? I would love to hear about it in the Comments/Reply section below and, as always, thank you for reading!
Looking for resources? Check out the National Parenting Education Network (NPEN), a national organization that promotes the field of parenting education and encourages information sharing, professional development and networking opportunities for individuals who educate and support parents.
